What NOT to do for Easter Sure, we may be bursting with handy suggestions for what you SHOULD be doing on Easter, but aren’t some of you curious as to what you SHOULDN’T be doing? Here’s a handy list of things that you should probably avoid this Easter.
- Do NOT buy any one person several pounds of chocolate. They’ll be getting enough already, and unless they’re one of the few people willing to let precious chocolate go to waste, they WILL eat it all. This should NOT be your fault.
- Do NOT buy someone a plush toy fashioned after an animal that has no relation to Easter. After seeing every member of the animal kingdom sporting hearts and kisses for Valentine’s Day, buying an egg-wielding moose would just be asinine.
- Do NOT dress a child who is over the age of six as any type of bunny or chicken. You may still think this is adorable, but they don’t. And they will hate you forever.
- Do NOT buy hollow chocolate treats. The novelty of a beloved cartoon character carved out of sweet brown gold wears off quickly when one discovers that they’ve been gutted.
- Do NOT buy twice as many Easter treats as you will need. You claim that you’re just being wary, but we all know you’re only planning to gorge.
- Do NOT host an Easter Egg hunt inside your home. It may seem practical at the time, but you’ll regret it when you find that lovely, renegade egg in August.
- Do NOT attempt to make Easter weekend one of romance. Try as you may, there is nothing attractive about two chocolate-filled bodies, weary from months of cruel winter and likely hungover from a long weekend. It’s just not right.
- Do NOT associate the religious aspects of Easter with its sugary delights. Very few people will appreciate the humour of a caramel-filled Christ, no matter how innocent your intentions are.
-Alek Trypkovski |
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